The Cost of Being a Girl By Anamika Mishra

After the class distribution of academic session 2075, a very good friend of mine visited me after long time, and sobbed extremely high. It caused me worrisome and amazement that I only stared on her face like stars in the sky. I couldn’t utter any voice for sometimes. After some, a few minutes, she felt fine but till then it was an exceedingly guilty feeling for me to be a part of such shocking incident.


After sometimes, I dared to ask the cause of tears in her beautiful black big eyes. She replied, “Since last year, I have been a teacher of Mathematics of secondary level, but this time, I’m dishonored by degrading to lower secondary level.” She also added that as she tried to know the cause of her demotion or her fault, the principal startled her by acknowledging and reminding her that she was a girl, and he has heard, her parents are looking for her match; she may get married this season and they will have difficulty to find a teacher for secondary level in mid-session. He also added if she joins the school after her marriage they will have no any problem with her, they will welcome her.


Consequently she said, “After listening this, I felt like I should commit suicide for no reason than being born a girl.”
At this moment, I didn’t see multiple ways to heal her. And I hastily, disparaged male professionals, especially teachers by bringing some historical issues of male teachers in context of schools and colleges, where male teachers had ran away with girl students of grade 9 and 10, and plus two and bachelor level, and along with it found culprit for the charge of sexual assault, and the schools had only dismissed their teachers instead of going to police, to protect their public prestige for economic and social prosperity. I also presented other perspective by giving a thorough gaze at the situation, and said, neither lady employees can impress their principal and directors by going everywhere with them nor they can buy their groceries like male teachers do.


The other perception, I added brought smile on her face which was a proud moment for me. After all, someone was smiling and the reason behind it was me.
Obviously, the point the principal told her was not wrong, but, they were not reality as well, for future is unseen and life doesn’t go as our planning. However, movement is the issue the principal said, but, who knows that someone may find someone in the same city.


There are several instances, where girls give up once they engage in the professional life politics because of short minded mentality. As I am authoring this, it is like advocating for girls but really I have never found girls working at good position in my own hometown, either that is in private sector or in government sector. And young girls reaching to good position and receiving good social and professional status itself is inspiration in all career to growing girls, especially when the girl is in teaching profession. Because good teachers teach, better teachers inspire and the best teachers are inspiration themselves for coming girls in Terai where the society is lagging behind not because of lack of enough facilities, but because of leg pulling mentality and blaming girls for their nature and culture.


While connecting the above mentioned incident and recent going campaign implemented in province no.2 that is “Educate Girl Save Girl” need to be corrected, and it should be like ‘Employ Girls to Educate Growing Girls and to Stop Gender Determination Tests’. It is also very well-known to all the rational citizens of the nation that gender inequality is at Mount Everest peak in plain part of the country; that can be slowly and gradually minimized by giving space to girls and proving them equal to boys.


At last, if woman’s issues like getting married, bearing children, caring family, and so forth are taken in consideration then there won’t be any girls in any sector. And if it is the matter of marriage; it is sure but uncertain when. So, there should be system of pre-information from both party, organization and employees if the organization wants to fire or the employee want to fire the job. At least one month earlier the discontented candidate can inform where the employee can seek other job or, the organization can look for good candidate during the time. If we look back to the constitution of our nation which has given 33 percent reservation along with other several facilities to women that is also a kind of compensation to bring them at professional level and also to continue the nature of femininity. As the government has given quota, all the local level should also manage this kind of policy to bring quick change, and also to reduce the cost of begin a girl.



Mishra : M.A in English from Pokhara University IACER, and doing M.A in Sociology from Tribhuvan University. Now I live in Birgunj

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